Federal inmates make clear they will sue if slander continues

Federal inmates have come together to fight the social media slander surrounding the growing chance of a Donald Trump prison term and the general public’s assumption that they, the federal inmates, might rape, pillage or otherwise whore him around the pen – if and when he gets there at all.

“I find it abhorrent that just because I robbed a federally insured bank people automatically assume I would rape Donald Trump if the occasion were to come available,” said senior organizer, Les Terdiddit, in a recent and possibly imaginary telephone interview with this writer.

Terdittit brought the group together to pool resources within the inmate community, in efforts to secure an attorney to take on the case. Who exactly will be sued remains a mystery, but they are steadfastly committed to the effort.

“We’re serious about this,” said co-organizer and former money-launderer for the Gambino crime family, Tony “Three Fingers” Bangbimbo. “The thought of touching that guy is enough to make a former hit-man, I mean money launderer, shiver.”

In an effort to spread the message far and wide, Terdittit and Bangbimbo formed the Penmates are not Playmates, (PP) and they plan to have their friends and family on the outside help spread the word.

Linda Slavenship, warden of Neverhapened Federal Penitentiary had a quick response for the inmates, who are restricted from any social media at all.

“Look, we can’t have a bunch of PP’s out there waving lawsuits around. They’re federal prisoners, and PP or not, they’ll abide by the rules,” said Slavenship.

There’s no film at 11 because our amps only go to 10, but you can bet your sweet ass I’ll be following along. Keep it tuned here for all the PP updates.

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As a former transportation industry writer, I learned that a regular paycheck is nice, but writing about something you're no longer interested in is miserable. Apparently, I like writing more than money - so I'm back to freelancing at 52. It's not as altruistic as it sounds, I'm also cranky and difficult and refuse to fit in anymore, making steady employment pesky and potentially dangerous to my psyche.

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